Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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