Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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