Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
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You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He did a backflip because drugs
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