If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
