Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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