Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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