he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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