1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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