My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
