You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
