Me. At least after what I've been through.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
