checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize