I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
