just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
