think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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