We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
