Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
