That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
