Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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