Where is the hickey?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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