No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
