I wannas sexs uuuuu
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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