Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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