Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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