Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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