I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
oh god the rape fog is back!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
