Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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