drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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