Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
