a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
