Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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