Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
