i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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