i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
