distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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