I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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