WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
But we have bathrooms and they dont
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
