The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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