Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
