I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
