Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
