I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think I am morally bankrupt
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
