weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
one might say we're banned from that church
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
