The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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