ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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