just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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