You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i now understand why vodka
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
