he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize