I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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