sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
