It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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