hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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