Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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