Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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