There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
