hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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