can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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