my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
is this the sara with the beer cane?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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