I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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