im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
