well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
