We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
